I started this website because I wanted to write about Bollywood. I wanted to share my love, annoyance, disappointment, and hopes. Fear held me back from getting my thoughts out there, and it still does. Who am I? If this is such a good idea, why isn’t someone else doing it?

But if we have learned anything from masala films, it’s that the heart can’t be stopped from its desires. It will beat until it has what it wants.

If it’s not happy, it’s not the ending.

I’ve studied English, I’ve studied literature. Now I’m studying Hindi, now I’m studying film theory. It’s uncomfortable admitting you need to — you should — learn new things. You can demur ignorance: “I just didn’t know.” But when you are learning, you have to keep trying and putting your mistakes out there.

I have a pile of books waiting for me, on film, on feminism, on phonics. Maybe if I keep them close enough, I will just absorb the knowledge and I will just know it. Like The Matrix. Plug in the correct file and move on.

“Chota? Little?” I said to my friend.

“No, chhota, little. They call me Chhota because I’m the youngest.”

And I felt so embarrassed. “Chota?” “No, chhota.” “Ch?” “Chh.”

But later, I realized, she didn’t yell at me or laugh (that much), she helped me.

Movies tell us to take risks and follow our dreams. My love and thanks to everyone who reads this site, watches movies, thinks about them, enjoys them. Now, I have movies to watch, articles to write, books to read, learning to do.

Posted by Natasha

Natasha received her MA in Literature and Culture in 2008 from Oregon State University. Currently she lives in Oregon with her husband and cats.

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